Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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