i just sent this text using only my big toe
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize