i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
