In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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