dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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