omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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