Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
