They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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