It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
