I'm lost and stupid without you.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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