I love black thongs
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
