This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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