Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize