And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Someone came in the potted fern
Holy sore nipples Batman
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
