I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
