I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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