from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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