and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
