The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
