i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
