i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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