Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
