Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
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i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
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She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.