Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.