I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So apparently I’m into choking now
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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