What a fucking waste of an outfit
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize