I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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