Got a toothbrush?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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