That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
