It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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