i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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