remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You dont lie about slip and slides
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
