You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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