I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
