You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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