how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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