I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
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He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
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It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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