Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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