and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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