What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You ruined the universe
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
