it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
