guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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