Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
