Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
