she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
