i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i dont even know how to be here
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
