At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Randomize
