It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
