so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
