Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize