I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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