I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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