We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
