Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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