I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
