My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
