so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
