im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize