There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
