and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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